I spent over 17 years as a full time Hollywood stuntman and was quite literally “bullet proof” in some of my roles. In the movie I am #4 I was one of the main bad guys who happened to be an alien. I was shot, thrown threw windows and trees, and smashed through tables but kept getting up (until I was stabbed in the face with the magic knife and my head exploded), but let’s focus on the getting up part. In Marvel’s Ant-man I was the stuntman behind the mask of YellowJacket (the bad guy again). I was able to shrink and grow at will, had super strength, and could shoot lasers out of my extra appendages. To be honest though I’m not sure if that character was actually bullet proof or not...hey I had super strength and shot lasers so close enough. I also had many roles where I was not bullet proof and was shot and killed by bullets, arrows, and magic spells many times in my career. I even once met my demise by having my head shoved into a table saw in a TV show called “The Originals”. For the purpose of this post though let’s focus on the times I was bullet proof.
In these bullet proof roles the characters are of course, not harmed by bullets, but how did they get this way? Some are aliens and this primitive form of violence can’t pierce their skin, and others wear special suits that absorb the bullets power. No matter how they became bullet proof the ability is a super power that resides inside the character. Meaning the character doesn’t have the ability to make the bullet travel slower or reduce its piercing ability in anyway (that would be a different super power like telekinesis but lets not go down the super power rabbit hole here…). Being bullet proof means that the character is stronger than the bullet, the same bullet that would harm or kill a normal human being does not harm the bullet proof character.
No doubt being bullet proof would be super cool, imagine having that power! You would be fearless, like many superheroes, and not hesitate to put yourself in the line of fire. This super power enables heroes to be confident and brave in situations where most people would be nervous and scared.
In my Hollywood career I was, and have interacted with many bullet proof characters. In real life I was, and have interacted with many bully proof characters. We can replace the word “bullet” with the word “bully” and turn being “bully proof” into a super power.
When you are “bully proof” insults, teasing, and mocking bounce off your chest like bullets off of Superman’s. We find ourselves more confident and brave in certain situations and we aren’t afraid to try new things or to put ourselves in the line of fire. It’s a real world super power. But how do we get it? Good news is that it’s attainable, you don’t have to be from another planet or have a billion dollar suit on. Bad news is it takes work and training.
Like bullet proof super heroes, when becoming “bully proof” we are trying to make ourselves stronger than the bullet. We have no power over the bullets themselves. In this case the “bullets” are teasing, mocking, and other forms of bullying. We have no power to control these bullets but we do have the power to make ourselves so strong that they can’t penetrate our skin. This takes internal work and training though, the type that many of us shy away from in today’s society.
The first step to becoming bully proof is to know the difference of who we are and what we are. The next step is to start prioritizing them accordingly.
Who we are consists of our internal character traits. Hard working, humble, honest, and a good friend are all examples of who we should strive to be.
What we are is the external titles or attributes we carry. Things like job titles, being a bullied kid or a popular kid, tall or short, an athlete or a scholar, a student or a teacher are examples of what we are.
When we come to terms with the fact that our who is more valuable than our what we become stronger and a little closer to being bully proof. When we choose to have our identity be defined by who we are instead of what we are, you’ll start seeing bullets bounce off of you.
We have to be careful though because things like ego, closed mindedness, and arrogance can creep into our who…and that’s how villains are created. Evaluating and making sure you are building up a strong and positive who is constant work. It is the spinach to Popeye strength, the power pellets to pac-man’s power, and the super serum to Captain America’s abilities.
When I was a kid I had a facial deformity and I battled a speech impediment throughout school. For some reason it made me work on my internal traits, which I latter defined as my who, and enabled me deal with the bullying and teasing in a way so that it never really hurt me. I wouldn’t say I was bullet proof like superman at that time but I did become like wolverine. It took a lot to hurt me but even if I was hurt I healed remarkable fast. And like wolverine I was, and am, very confident and not afraid to stand in the line of fire.
I never identified as the bullied kid and was able to leave that what behind me just like I never identified as a Hollywood stuntman and was able to recently leave that what behind me as well.
Like many ideas in today world they have been thought of before. Want a new idea, read an old book is a quote I’m fond of. Marcus Aurelius said “Look well into thyself: there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look”. Martin Luther King said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character”. I am saying the source of strength inside can make us bully proof and that content of character should be judged above all external traits.
I challenge you to evaluate your who and your what. I further challenge you to evaluate the value you put on each. It’s never too late to start prioritizing these things accordingly to become “bully proof”.
Thanks Kim. I'm shooting you an email now.
This is great! I love the connection to your book and the laser focus on the problem of bullying that applies to students. This route also opens up your possibilities to a larger audience. The book study I am working on is working well for 8th graders and others who understand navigating life’s transitions, but superheroes and bullying will reach a younger audience too! I hope you will use both in your presentation at NCMLE. How can I help?